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Slavery of Faith... A journey of a descent into hell, discovery and never ending faith NOW AVAILABLE |
Thank you for visiting my page. Most of you reached this page
via the link from the CNN Presents documentary "Escape
from Jonestown" website link. After careful consideration and
meeting the executive producer, James Polk, a Pulitzer Prize
winner and his wife Cara for dinner, I knew that he could be
trusted to explore a topic that had not been expounded
upon...the survivors. Our experiences, as each one was
different, our attempts to survive the sudden loss of love ones
and a life some of us had known since childhood and beyond.
He wanted to know the rest of the story...what we dealt with
during the last thirty years. His topic assisted me along with
my daughter's prodding to tell the entire story; how I coped
and didn't cope upon my return to the United States and my
attempt to have a productive and somewhat normal life.
Slavery of Faith is my story.
It is surreal to look at this photograph taken 30 years ago, a
day after escaping Jonestown, that my entire nuclear family
perished.
On November 18, 1978, I listened to the spirit of God, trusted
and moved. Hours later, I would discover that listening to that
voice would save my life and the life of my son, however, I
would also loose my entire nuclear family; my husband, Joe
Wilson; my mother Inez J. Wagner; my brother, Mark Stacey
Wagner; my sister, Michelle Wagner-Fitch; my neice
Dawynelle and nephew Daron. Along with my blood family
there were hundreds of people I grew up with and loved that
also perished. Needless to say the trauma of that day has
haunted me for thirty years.
My mother first took us to Peoples Temple Disciples of Christ,
because they had a drug rehabilitation program and was
hoping it would help my older sister Michelle. As we began to
travel the hour or so to Ukiah, my mother made the decision
to relocate from Santa Rosa, CA to Ukiah, CA. At that time I
was thirteen years old. My sister was 17. I immediately
became involved in the youth group and the church.
At eighteen after my son Jakari was born, I moved to San
Francisco. Later I would have one foot in the church and the
other out. Confused about my life, I actually believed my
young son would be better off without me. His father wanted
him to leave the country and head to Guyana with Jim Jones,
when Jim made his exodus from the U.S. Thinking he would
be better off without me I agreed. This was also a way the Jim
kept members; take one family member and surely the others
would follow suit. It is also how my entire family ended up in
Jonestown...(more about that in the book).
The spirit intervened again and a couple of months later I
received the call to head for Guyana. A voice within me said
"if you don't go now, you will never see your son again." It
was the voice of God that led me to say yes.
After reuniting with my son in Jonestown, I was told I would
be sent to medical school. Slowly, the environment began to
change and I realized that this was not going to be the utopia
we all wanted. Disillusioned, but still faithful, I prayed every
day that I would find a way out. God stepped in again and
placed someone in my path who would light the way. Her
mate had been developing an escape plan the moment he
stepped foot in to Jonestown, six months prior. They allowed
me and my son to join them in their escape and that as they
say "is history."
However, what would come later would be thirty years of
survivor's guilt, and a life that felt like a roller coaster. There
were highs and lows, a journey into a short period of drug
abuse, a family suicide, more death, more love, more joy..
After hitting a final low spot, I pulled myself up, hanging on
to the faith I still had. Two additional beautiful children,
Monique Inez and Demetrius, I relocated back to California to
get married and try to establish a stable life. It worked.
Maintaining a ten year career in health care God moved
again and I obtained my California real estate license which
allowed me to pay for my daughters college tuition. Life was
good; an active parent in my son's high school Booster club
and attending all of his games(football and baseball) I felt my
life was finally where it should be. Yet there was a longing
deep within and when I sat still and listened, I knew that
there was more to do. If nothing else, it was to complete the
book, to share my testimony with those that wanted to hear.
To be able to say, It was not me, who walked those miles
through the jungle, it was God pushing me and leading me.
This journey meant I would have to divorce my husband, as I
needed to achieve a level of spiritual understanding that had
to include a believer or it would have to be done alone.
Understanding that my very life depended upon me reaching
a certain level, I leaped again, moving in God's will it flowed
in divine order. Knowing that this meant walking away from
a material comfort zone and familiar territory I prepared for
the journey. It was time for me to fullfill God's promise for
me, and that meant making those tough decisions. In June
2007 and I relocated back to Atlanta and began the real
journey. That decision changed my life..
A new found faith was renewed within me, my spirit given a
second chance, God still not forsaking me but keeping me
close, placing people around me that who helped me move
past that one major obstacle...forgiveness; forgiving myself for
living and forgiving Jim Jones... my healing was complete.
After twenty five years of living both a secret and a lie, God
led me to develop the strength, fortitude and never ending
faith to complete my story. It is only my story, there are many
more...
What God and the Universe has given me is an
understanding that we can forgive, accomplish, move forward
if we have the faith and belief to do so. Yes, my story is tragic,
however, many people have experienced tragedy, pain and
heartache. So I share this... Faith brings you to a level of
peace and if you believe, you can and will rise...God has
blessings waiting for us that we can't even imagine. Begin the
journey and watch in amazement what will unfold...
Slavery of Faith..is dedicated to the 913 souls that crossed
over on November 18, 1978. Those that chose and those
that did not. You are not forgotten.t It is also written to be
a testimony to those souls here today, to be able share with
you that Love for God, and Love from God can bridge and
heal all. And to remember that In the Game of Life - Faith
Wins.
Please go to the contact page and respond...add your name so
you will be notified when the book is in print and can be
purchased; feel free to ask questions, and offer your comments
they are gladly welcomed.
Peace, Blessings and always Universal Love,
Leslie
via the link from the CNN Presents documentary "Escape
from Jonestown" website link. After careful consideration and
meeting the executive producer, James Polk, a Pulitzer Prize
winner and his wife Cara for dinner, I knew that he could be
trusted to explore a topic that had not been expounded
upon...the survivors. Our experiences, as each one was
different, our attempts to survive the sudden loss of love ones
and a life some of us had known since childhood and beyond.
He wanted to know the rest of the story...what we dealt with
during the last thirty years. His topic assisted me along with
my daughter's prodding to tell the entire story; how I coped
and didn't cope upon my return to the United States and my
attempt to have a productive and somewhat normal life.
Slavery of Faith is my story.
It is surreal to look at this photograph taken 30 years ago, a
day after escaping Jonestown, that my entire nuclear family
perished.
On November 18, 1978, I listened to the spirit of God, trusted
and moved. Hours later, I would discover that listening to that
voice would save my life and the life of my son, however, I
would also loose my entire nuclear family; my husband, Joe
Wilson; my mother Inez J. Wagner; my brother, Mark Stacey
Wagner; my sister, Michelle Wagner-Fitch; my neice
Dawynelle and nephew Daron. Along with my blood family
there were hundreds of people I grew up with and loved that
also perished. Needless to say the trauma of that day has
haunted me for thirty years.
My mother first took us to Peoples Temple Disciples of Christ,
because they had a drug rehabilitation program and was
hoping it would help my older sister Michelle. As we began to
travel the hour or so to Ukiah, my mother made the decision
to relocate from Santa Rosa, CA to Ukiah, CA. At that time I
was thirteen years old. My sister was 17. I immediately
became involved in the youth group and the church.
At eighteen after my son Jakari was born, I moved to San
Francisco. Later I would have one foot in the church and the
other out. Confused about my life, I actually believed my
young son would be better off without me. His father wanted
him to leave the country and head to Guyana with Jim Jones,
when Jim made his exodus from the U.S. Thinking he would
be better off without me I agreed. This was also a way the Jim
kept members; take one family member and surely the others
would follow suit. It is also how my entire family ended up in
Jonestown...(more about that in the book).
The spirit intervened again and a couple of months later I
received the call to head for Guyana. A voice within me said
"if you don't go now, you will never see your son again." It
was the voice of God that led me to say yes.
After reuniting with my son in Jonestown, I was told I would
be sent to medical school. Slowly, the environment began to
change and I realized that this was not going to be the utopia
we all wanted. Disillusioned, but still faithful, I prayed every
day that I would find a way out. God stepped in again and
placed someone in my path who would light the way. Her
mate had been developing an escape plan the moment he
stepped foot in to Jonestown, six months prior. They allowed
me and my son to join them in their escape and that as they
say "is history."
However, what would come later would be thirty years of
survivor's guilt, and a life that felt like a roller coaster. There
were highs and lows, a journey into a short period of drug
abuse, a family suicide, more death, more love, more joy..
After hitting a final low spot, I pulled myself up, hanging on
to the faith I still had. Two additional beautiful children,
Monique Inez and Demetrius, I relocated back to California to
get married and try to establish a stable life. It worked.
Maintaining a ten year career in health care God moved
again and I obtained my California real estate license which
allowed me to pay for my daughters college tuition. Life was
good; an active parent in my son's high school Booster club
and attending all of his games(football and baseball) I felt my
life was finally where it should be. Yet there was a longing
deep within and when I sat still and listened, I knew that
there was more to do. If nothing else, it was to complete the
book, to share my testimony with those that wanted to hear.
To be able to say, It was not me, who walked those miles
through the jungle, it was God pushing me and leading me.
This journey meant I would have to divorce my husband, as I
needed to achieve a level of spiritual understanding that had
to include a believer or it would have to be done alone.
Understanding that my very life depended upon me reaching
a certain level, I leaped again, moving in God's will it flowed
in divine order. Knowing that this meant walking away from
a material comfort zone and familiar territory I prepared for
the journey. It was time for me to fullfill God's promise for
me, and that meant making those tough decisions. In June
2007 and I relocated back to Atlanta and began the real
journey. That decision changed my life..
A new found faith was renewed within me, my spirit given a
second chance, God still not forsaking me but keeping me
close, placing people around me that who helped me move
past that one major obstacle...forgiveness; forgiving myself for
living and forgiving Jim Jones... my healing was complete.
After twenty five years of living both a secret and a lie, God
led me to develop the strength, fortitude and never ending
faith to complete my story. It is only my story, there are many
more...
What God and the Universe has given me is an
understanding that we can forgive, accomplish, move forward
if we have the faith and belief to do so. Yes, my story is tragic,
however, many people have experienced tragedy, pain and
heartache. So I share this... Faith brings you to a level of
peace and if you believe, you can and will rise...God has
blessings waiting for us that we can't even imagine. Begin the
journey and watch in amazement what will unfold...
Slavery of Faith..is dedicated to the 913 souls that crossed
over on November 18, 1978. Those that chose and those
that did not. You are not forgotten.t It is also written to be
a testimony to those souls here today, to be able share with
you that Love for God, and Love from God can bridge and
heal all. And to remember that In the Game of Life - Faith
Wins.
Please go to the contact page and respond...add your name so
you will be notified when the book is in print and can be
purchased; feel free to ask questions, and offer your comments
they are gladly welcomed.
Peace, Blessings and always Universal Love,
Leslie
| Resources: The most comprehensive website for objective information and individual perspectives on Peoples Temple and Jonestown, Guyana |
| Leslie Wagner-Wilson (Cathey) Hair Tammy Watkins, Ft. Worth, Texas Photo by Anna Westall, Arlington, Texas Makeup by Bau Karen Her, Elk Grove, CA |
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| "Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1-3) |